Be Your Own Valentine

“Maybe you are searching among branches for what only appears in the roots.”

Valentine’s Day is here.

For lovers all over the world it’s a day of celebration of their feelings for each other. A day designed to bring happiness and warmth and affection, to show each other how much they care, to prove their love.

For those who are single and alone, this day can bring feelings of nostalgia and loneliness. Looking around and feeling a sense of emptiness but putting on a smiling face to assure others that all is well in their world, while deep inside there is a little sadness for having lost or been separated from loved ones.

If that is you then do take heart. Valentine’s Day is all about relationships, but who says it has to be limited to only the romantic ones?

Your first and most important relationship is with your self.

As the Sufi poet Rumi says so beautifully:
“You have within you more love than you could ever understand.”

So for those who are single, who are still not convinced of this unconditional love that exists deep within, who are on a constant search for their perfect soul mate, I’d like to share an excerpt from my book, The SoulMate Checklist:

Strange how there is still a stigma around the “single” status even in this day and age.

Do we really need to be in a relationship to be happy?

Most of us have no clue as to what makes us truly happy, and so we drift from one relationship to another, looking for someone to fill the void because we’re so afraid of being lonely. How about first building a healthy relationship with ourselves? When we feel better about ourselves, we’re able to have a more profound and meaningful relationship with someone else.

Almost every woman has had her heart broken at some point in her life. How do we heal a broken heart and allow ourselves to love again? Often, we think we have to rise above the heartbreak and shake it off and go through life as if all is well. The healthy approach is to process our feelings, allow ourselves to mourn, admit how badly we feel, and know that it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are not worthy or are lacking in any way.

Obviously, claim responsibility if there is something you don’t like about yourself and that you would like to change. Allow yourself to heal, to feel the pain, and eventually reach the place where you can honestly ask yourself, “What have I learned from this?”

Look at these failures as stepping-stones leading you to your ultimate relationship— the one with your soul mate. See each person as part of your journey, each teaching you lessons that you have to learn about yourself that will lead you one step closer to the right person, who is waiting for you when you’re ready for him.

So often in life, we set goals for ourselves and think that once we achieve them, we’ll be happy. We think if we had the right partner, if we had the right job, the new, greatest car, the wonderful, dream house, more money, and so on, we would be complete. Then one day, we realize that we have everything we thought we needed to be happy, to feel good inside, to feel worthy, but we are still not fulfilled. There is that deep feeling in our heart that something is missing. It’s that feeling that, “I’m not good enough. I need something else. I’m not okay the way I am.” There is a void that no amount of things and people can fill. What is still missing, we ask?

~ The SoulMate Checklist

Here’s wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day!

© Rani St. Pucchi, 2017
Rani St. Pucchi is a Relationship Expert, a Couture Fashion Designer and an Image consultant. She is a Bestselling Author, a Speaker, an Inspirational Coach and a Trainer. Her bestselling books, The SoulMate Checklist : Keys to Finding Your Perfect Partner and Your Body, Your Style: Simple Tips on Dressing to Flatter Your Body Type are now available everywhere books are sold. For more information on Rani please visit
The SoulMate Checklist is available at

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