“Some people are old at 18 and some people are young at 90…

 Time is a concept that humans created.” ~ Yoko Ono

I’m sure we all agree that what we want in our 20s is TOTALLY different from what we value most in our 30s, 40s, 50s and even 60s!

The core essence of who we are remains the same but other than that everything else keeps evolving. Our needs and wants change. Life shifts. Every decision starts to take on a new meaning. Every relationship, circumstance and major milestone counts.

The 20’s are about experimenting and finding ourselves. Women at this age are open to new experiences, new friendships and relationships. They start to adopt new behaviors, and ways of dressing to find their groove and their own unique personality. They struggle to become comfortable in their own skin, and to accept themselves. They are more impressionable at this age and get swayed easily by other people’s opinions and will do almost anything to garner a sense of belonging among their peers.

In the 30’s a woman’s focus shifts and she values family and security more than anything else. She becomes more self-assured and focused. She knows what she wants and she goes after it. She invests in learning and her growth, and nurtures relationships that will support her goals and dreams. The bigger picture of her life is still taking shape in profound ways and the path to getting her closer to her destination becomes clearer now. Most are still leery about using a direct approach when communicating their needs, probably because they are afraid to rock the boat or create conflict within their relationships.

What is so alluring about a woman over 40 that is often missing in women in the 20s and 30s are the following:

1.      Her confidence skyrockets: By now she has gone thru major life experiences: marriage, parenthood, and maybe even a divorce. She realizes that she is in control and it is up to her to make her life great and go after what she wants. She no longer needs a man or any other relationship for that matter to fill some void in her life.

2.     She is comfortable in her own skin: She knows her value and her worth and is beyond the BS routine of trying to please everyone. Her beauty radiates from inside out and she has the innate knowingness and savvy of sniffing out the takers from the givers. Having won and lost many battles and having sometimes given too much in past relationships she knows that toxic relationships are not worth it. The clock is ticking and she is not interested in wasting one more minute on people who bring her down.

3.     She is direct: Unlike women in their 20s and 30s who allow others to cross over their boundaries without sticking up for themselves, allowing their resentment to build when their needs are not met, the woman in her 40s and beyond, uses the direct approach. She rarely wastes time and when something doesn’t feel right she lays down the law and sets clear boundaries for the future. But here’s the real beauty: once she’s made her point clear she is done and at peace again. The slate is wiped clean and everything is hunky-dory. There is no backlashing, and no re-hashing. There is no drama. Just clear communication. It’s really over and she is back to loving again. Unless of course someone crosses her boundaries again, then watch out because she will probably be done with the relationship.

4.       She is more patient: As she ages, a woman in her 40s and beyond understands that patience is the greatest virtue. She becomes more compassionate about things that are trivial in the big scheme of life. She thinks twice before she snaps. That teller who is slow at the bank or that young waitress who messed up the order, could have been her daughter, or remind her of her younger self. That elderly woman driving 20 miles an hour reminds her of her mother. Now she is more generous about giving way to a car that needs to enter her lane, believing that someone will be as generous to her.

5.     She is liberated: By now she understands what it is like to have gone thru failed relationships and experienced having to take charge of her life. The ending of a relationship, in fact any kind of failure, involves a major upheaval of her entire life. For any woman who has gotten out of her cage, the last thing she wants to do is get stuck in another one. There is no greater joy than the feeling of liberation, and having experienced it herself she has no desire to put someone else in a cage either. She may not agree with others’ decisions and choices, but she will give them the space to be themselves.

6.    She is sexy! : A woman who has been taking care of herself physically, emotionally, mentally and nutritionally throughout her 20s and 30s and who is confident, direct, and liberated, is a sexy woman. She is beyond having to strategize and manipulate to catch a man. She knows what she wants and does what feels right and goes for what works for her. Part of the fun is that she is not obsessed about being in a relationship, and because of that men are attracted to her. Men almost always want what they cannot have!

You can’t help getting older

 But you don’t have to get old.” ~ George Burns

 

© Rani St. Pucchi, 2016

Look for Rani St. Pucchi’s imminent release of her book:

Your Body, Your Style: Simple Tips on Dressing to Flatter Your Body Type

For more information on Rani please visit www.ranistpucchi.com

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