That first long trip you take together will pretty much tell you everything you need to know about life with your partner after commitment.
From the planning stage to the actual trip and return, the journey will put your relationship to the test and confirm if you are right for each other, or not. It will ramp up the pressure and tell you what you need to know about another person: whether you’ll have fun and solve problems together, whether the trip results in a relationship flameout, or the discovery of true love.
Travel is an opportunity to share new experiences and adventures with one another and to see if you are compatible. It can be loads of fun because you get to spend a lot more time with your partner that you may not get at home. It affords you an opportunity to really be there for one another, which is what a good relationship is all about: the give and take.
While couples get to spend quality time together, laughing and having fun, sharing similar goals and desires, they also learn how to resolve differences, avoid conflicts and to talk and connect with one another on a much deeper level. Just think about it: you’ll be spending time with each other 24/7; you’ll be sharing close quarters: toilets and bathrooms and closet space; you will have to manage your money together. All of which can add to the stress if you allow it.
It means that you will not get bent out of shape if things don’t go exactly according to plan. That you are open to exploring each other’s interests and wiling to trade off your choices for his choices and vice-versa.
You learn each other’s behavior: how you roll with unexpected delays or if you have a tendency to complain when plans go awry; how he treats hotel and restaurant staff, respectfully, or with impatience and temper tantrums; how each of you handles expenses, especially as budgeting will test how you cooperate financially in life; whether he sighs and fidgets because to him the trip is something to be accomplished rather than experienced. You can see the values of your partner in those situations and decide if you like the way he handles himself.
A travel experience can also turn your life upside down but you must be prepared for it as well. If your partner shows signs of self-centeredness or unwillingness to do things that aren’t familiar it could lead you to end up with a rigid and boring partner. Unless of course, you love routine.
For many couples travel creates a positive effect on their relationship so that it becomes more romantic, intimate and balanced. It makes them feel closer to one another and forges a friendship that is the number one driver of satisfaction in a relationship.
Travel allows you to see your loved one in a new light and allows you to get even closer to him, or else brings you to the realization that a life together may not work after all. A man who crumbles under pressure during a trip will probably exhibit the same traits at home. Sometimes it takes a while for negative traits to emerge. Your partner’s lack of interest in your interests can become apparent during a shared trip.
Traveling can be challenging for couples if they don’t pay attention to the little nuances and irritations that may come up from time to time. To make it a pleasant experience for all, do the following:
1. Set ground rules
As you plan your trip, talk frankly about what each expects from the trip so that there is clarity.
2. Schedule events
Plan your schedule and make sure you have made all arrangements ahead of time to avoid any conflicts and disappointments.
3. Evaluate occasionally
When something bothers you and you begin to feel resentful, sit down and talk it out so that your partner is aware and can take steps to alleviate your angst. If you want something from your partner – ask him.
4. Reassess and readjust
Sometimes unexpected situations, events and delays that were not anticipated can take you by surprise. Evaluate the situation and adjust your plans accordingly without losing steam.
5. Be present
So often one partner is busy doing their thing while the other is left hanging. If that is you then make sure you’re fully present with your partner and share your experiences together instead of leaving him alone. After all, you traveled together, it is only right that you do things together and be present for each other.
Make travel joyful and share your journey together lovingly. Make it a memorable experience where twilight hours are always and only, for laughter and fun. Where being at the beach literally means being present with each other at the beach. Where having each meal means enjoying loving conversations with each other. Where you breathe in the awesomeness of every place you visit, side by side, marveling at the beauty of it all. But most importantly it is that you are fully engaged with each other, talking about nothing, and everything in a world where time is irrelevant and the company of your partner gracefully puts you so squarely in the moment.
You may be one of the lucky ones as it becomes clear you have found your travel soul mate. He is a keeper.
© Rani St. Pucchi, 2016
Rani is the author of the soon to be released:
The SoulMate Checklist: Key Questions to Help You Choose Your Perfect Partner
For other books by Rani St. Pucchi and for more information please visit www.ranistpucchi.com